Have you ever had to convince another person that you weren’t a crazy stalker creep only to realise that your assertions on not being crazy incidentally indicate otherwise and (drawing breath), much to your sheer and utter dismay, the more you try to convince someone you aren’t crazy, the more crazy you seem? Oh really? Same. Yeh, me either.
Ok I’ll come clean:
Ok I’ll come clean:
This morning I woke up a little perturbed by the fact that the number of subscribers to my blog is dismal compared to the amount of hits I have. I read a blog on how to get more people to subscribe to your blog and it suggested to find a blog you like and comment on it in the hope that perhaps the subscribers to said, commented-on blog, would then, in turn subscribe and comment on my blog (blog, blog, blog).
I checked my email. In my inbox was a link to a blog called, “yes and yes” so I clicked it, not realizing that this ‘click’ would signify the genesis of a series of misfortunate and embarrassing events which would revolve around all that I have disclosed thus far.
I liked the blog, a whole lot actually. This particular post was on this girl’s idea of the perfect home. It seemed perfect for my agenda. So I commented:
“I enjoyed the pictorial representation of your idea of the quintessential abode. Although I must admit it does lack in one, most obvious and often over-looked, area... the spiral staircase ! 'Ahh of course', you're saying...'how could I have been so disregarding of such helicoidal goodness?' You're forgiven because your pictures and your writings are pretty and pleasing to my eyes and mind. P.s how under-rated and un-employed is the adjective helicoidal?”
I know, impressive right? Now if you know me, you’d think that was funny but if you didn’t know me, maybe a little odd-ball, arse-hat*?
Go on, you can say it.
Anyway then I saw on her blog that we could be friends on facebook. Let me clarify that I had zero disillusionment as to what this meant. I realised that this was just to her blog not to be personal friends, weird, don’t even know her, c’mon. So I went to facebook, typed in her name and…. hang on. Writer’s dilemma. I wrote her a message which I want you to see. But by me posting it here, now, will ruin the story which planned to culminate to the writing of this message. What they hey, posting it now:
Anyway then I saw on her blog that we could be friends on facebook. Let me clarify that I had zero disillusionment as to what this meant. I realised that this was just to her blog not to be personal friends, weird, don’t even know her, c’mon. So I went to facebook, typed in her name and…. hang on. Writer’s dilemma. I wrote her a message which I want you to see. But by me posting it here, now, will ruin the story which planned to culminate to the writing of this message. What they hey, posting it now:
**SEND**
Clearly. Clearly this girl will think I’m sure stir-crazy now. Ah well whatcha- gonna do? Anyone able to vouch for me here? Guys? Hello? Anyone? Not you mad hatter….
* I have absolutely no knowledge on what this term means I have merely seen it written before. Here I use it as an adjective but please excuse my ignorance if this is incorrect. It is a pretty effing funny word.
I am most affronted that I have not received due recognition for the word arse-hat seeing as how it was I who placed said word on your desk expecting your hilarity at the sheer awsomeness of its ability to both insult and confuse concurrently! I have had much discussion with my debating kids (or, as they are affectionately known by me, and the entire school population - the nerds) who have decided that an 'arse-hat' is in fact A) underpants (in that they are an item of clothing which protects the arse from sunburn or B) a hat made out of an arse! I think as a nerdy collective we came to the conclusion that the word is in fact a noun. BTB you are not crazy - or at least, only as crazy as Bib and me. Oops...maybe you are crazy after all! Welcome to the club!