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"For an occurrence to become an adventure, it is necessary and sufficient for one to recount it."

Stoney Swamp Diana

Fantastic Chiropractic

For as far back as I can recall, I’ve had “back problems” and I’ve had to visit various, sometimes questionable professionals with their various and sometimes questionable methods. From the self-declared 140-year-old ancient Chinese herbalist who, by the way, did not produce and solid evidence, upon request, to support this claim. To the Chiropractor I have been seeing off and on since I was 11.

So The Chiropractor has been a part of my life for obviously quite a long time now; over 10 years and was visited, during those initial few, pre-teen years by my sister, and myself almost weekly. 

Whenever I would lie on his table I would get this overwhelming sense that the man could read my thoughts and I would focus so hard and intently on not thinking anything disagreeable or unpleasant, that he logically concluded I was chronically tense and would therefore require weekly visits in which the ritual cycle of misconceptions from both patient and doctor would perpetuate and of course result in more concern from my highly strung mum and thus in turn, more appointments and so on and so forth.

Anyway, I went to boarding school and then moved to the city to complete university and followed the boy to his cold country so it had been some time since I had seen The Chiropractor when I returned at the start of the year for another visit. My back and legs had been giving me a hell of a time since I’d taken up Triathlons and I needed help, so I looked to the only tried and tested method I knew, to relieve these ailments.

Here is proof that I actually did triathlons in case you (know how much I love sitting on my arse, eating cheese and home-made pizzas, drinking wine and) were skeptical:



On my first visit in about 4 years, I am lying prostrate on the table,  when The Chiropractor enters, touches me lightly, mid-back and asks:

"You don’t normally drink coffee do you Corinda?"
Me- "Uhh, well no"
TC- "But you drank some today yes?"

 WOAH.


Anyway, I went to see The Chiropractor three times a week for about 7 weeks and nothing seemed to be getting better. A friend of mine suggested I try this local masseuse and it was with him I found instant relief- which was amazing for me but created a certain predicament for my sense of morality:

I no longer needed The Chiropractor.

Problem was, I had already booked an appointment prior to getting the massage and could not cancel, so went along, knowing it would be our final session together. The entire time I spent completely focused on thinking as loudly as inaudibly possible, In a desperate attempt to not allow him his usual, presumed omniscience:


"meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow"

At the end of the appointment I was sort of unsure of how I should act or what I should say. I ended up walking out, just as normal, as if I’d be back next week- just to avoid any awkwardness. When the receptionist asked me when I would like my next appointment, I ashamedly made up a little excuse about me forgetting my planner and that I would call when I knew what time would suit.

Don’t look at me like that- What was I to do?

 Is there a correct way to break up with your Chiro or any other professional, for that matters, whose entire relationship with you is entirely dependent on you paying them?*

Should I have made another appointment (and spent another $60) just to break it to him face-to-face that I wasn’t coming back, or is the way I left things sufficient?


Input welcome, in fact compulsory !


*Did you instantly think, “hooker” when you read this? I know you totally did.
Read More 2 Comments | Vomited from the mind of Corianda | edit post

2 Comments

  1. Charles on July 19, 2010 at 1:15 PM

    "*Did you instantly think, “hooker” when you read this? I know you totally did." should be at the bottom of every one of my blog posts...

    I lol'ed all over the place when I read that.

    I have never seen a chiropractor. Probably never will. But i do not feel you have any obligation at that point to tell him that you are breaking up with him.

    http://arealgoodblog.blogspot.com

     
  2. Corianda on July 21, 2010 at 11:49 AM

    Thanks Charles. Although I did bump into him in town this week. And, need-less to say It was EXACTLY as awkward as I'd imagined !
    GAH !

     


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      This is my blog. There are many like it but this one is my own. Within it I make (debatably) witty observations about life or something like it. During the day I teach teenagers things about the world and the English language. I read philosophy books and classics and I have an impressive vinyl collection. I appreciate the small things and I try to make the world better everyday. I love to write and take photos of pretty things using my Diana. I'd loan you my toothbrush...
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    Corianda
    Vic, Australia
    I'm a 24 year old, stuck in the body of a 24 year old. I like you if you like me, If you screw up I can't look you in the eye. I wish I knew who made up that thing that kids say about sneezing being a 1/4 of an orgasm as I think they've made a pretty wild connection between two different ends of the human body. Sometimes I'll employ the use of sarcasm even though I know what they say about sarcasm being the lowest form of wit-but does anyone else think that statement could be sarcastic itself? When I was a kid the dentist told me I'd grow into my mouth and I'm still waiting. I walk a seesaw between extro and intro (verted that is). I'm convinced RnB music is the bane of my existence (the very fact the middle letter 'n' stands for 'and' should really be enough to call the whole thing off). I hate prejudiced on all levels of the word. I think I was either born in the wrong era or grew up with people who had not yet grown out of theirs. I hate it when people use words like "asap" or phrases such as "24/7" but at least there's a record that i love to play......
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