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"For an occurrence to become an adventure, it is necessary and sufficient for one to recount it."

Stoney Swamp Diana

Public Privates

Does anyone else find the phenomena of the male urinal as enigmatic and puzzling as I do? How is it that strangers feel comfortable getting their private parts out in front of others and, further to that, being ok with participating in a simultaneous excretion of human bodily waste?
I asked my Dad and the Canadian to give their take on all of this and all they could reveal was a vaguely enthusiastic: “It’s a little awkward”. Now if you know me, you’ll know I love a good conspiracy and I believe there is one to be found here within the cold, dank and probably rank, porcelain trough that is the male urinal*. I think men all over the world are secretly shit scared of the concept but participate because they don’t want to seem odd (said in a progressively higher-pitched matter-of-fact tone).
Men all over the world! I implore you to revolt ! Sit down! Relax!…. Literally. There is an option! Exercise your right to sit, in private, if that is what you wish.

I just find it hard to believe that in a communal urinating situation:

a) Anyone would be able to fight the desire to check how anatomically blessed their neighbor is.
or
b) Anyone would be ok with their neighbor checking how anatomically blessed they themselves are.

In effect, presuming my assumptions are correct, what this means is there is a universe of males out there uncomfortable with the current washroom arrangements. I just find it hard to believe that some men can be so homophobic they don’t feel comfortable hugging another (fully clothed) male, yet they find it perfectly normal to stand next to each other, genitals in hand, exchanging pleasantries.

On that note, I bid you good day.

*Given the fact that I am a woman please realise that this is purely conjecture and I have no real knowledge of the happenings behind the door bearing the non-triangular-dress wearing silhouette.
Read More 1 Comment | Vomited from the mind of Corianda | edit post

1 Comment

  1. Johnny Virgil on May 16, 2010 at 7:32 AM

    Oddly enough, (or maybe not so oddly, once you get to know me) I've written on this unfortunate state of affairs many times on my blog. I have actually taken your advice and become a stall man. Although perhaps not for the reason you suspect! :)

     


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      This is my blog. There are many like it but this one is my own. Within it I make (debatably) witty observations about life or something like it. During the day I teach teenagers things about the world and the English language. I read philosophy books and classics and I have an impressive vinyl collection. I appreciate the small things and I try to make the world better everyday. I love to write and take photos of pretty things using my Diana. I'd loan you my toothbrush...
  • About Me

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    Corianda
    Vic, Australia
    I'm a 24 year old, stuck in the body of a 24 year old. I like you if you like me, If you screw up I can't look you in the eye. I wish I knew who made up that thing that kids say about sneezing being a 1/4 of an orgasm as I think they've made a pretty wild connection between two different ends of the human body. Sometimes I'll employ the use of sarcasm even though I know what they say about sarcasm being the lowest form of wit-but does anyone else think that statement could be sarcastic itself? When I was a kid the dentist told me I'd grow into my mouth and I'm still waiting. I walk a seesaw between extro and intro (verted that is). I'm convinced RnB music is the bane of my existence (the very fact the middle letter 'n' stands for 'and' should really be enough to call the whole thing off). I hate prejudiced on all levels of the word. I think I was either born in the wrong era or grew up with people who had not yet grown out of theirs. I hate it when people use words like "asap" or phrases such as "24/7" but at least there's a record that i love to play......
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